Recently the kids and I did a tally of our travels since we have moved abroad and concluded that we have visited 13 countries in just a little over a year (I’m including Monaco and Vatican City at Cash’s insistence). The kids were both wide-eyed in awe at this number, but I had to wonder if they really understood the sheer magnitude of it. I was in high school before I even set foot on an airplane and in my 20’s before having a passport. I have learned and grown more than I could have imagined but I would say the two most important things I have learned from seeing so much in a short time are: 1. Never rule anything out, you just might be surprised what you find you like and also dislike (a great practice in tolerance) and 2. Never define a place solely based on one visit (a great practice in patience). That is to say, my experience in repeating cities has always brought on new insight and very different comparisons. Our personalities and projected desires shape so much about what we want and expect of a vacation, but sometimes stepping out and doing something different can deliver an unforgettable experience.

Our one and only voyage without kids has been to the island of Ibiza. On our first trip there, I couldn’t help but silently giggle each time I thought of us on our way to this much famed island. Back in our NYC years (my mid-20’s) Ibiza had been a popular destination with some of our friends and a certain jet-set crowd that would fly there on the weekends. Back then, like everyone else, I defined it by nightclubs, dancing, drugs and essentially partying your ass off. I loved my happy hour and occasional late night out, but I had no interest in Ibiza. For us it was a ship that had sailed, leaving us safely behind to the comforts of familiar land.  Living in Europe broadened this perspective where we met several people of  like-minded ages that spoke very fondly of this beautiful and tranquil island. Tranquil? That somehow didn’t fit into my definition of Ibiza. But hey, we thought, it might be worth a look. Turns out it was a short cheap flight, the weather looked to be great and the kids were away for four nights at camp.

What we discovered was a beautiful and peaceful island (particularly if you avoid the nightclub area) which was speckled by private charming beaches and quaint coves –so many you could easily try a new one every day for weeks. We found the food amazing and the islanders warm and welcoming. It ended up being so great that when we had the opportunity to getaway for the weekend for Tommy’s 50th we chose to return. We had another incredible and different experience. Trying new beaches, visiting parts of the islands that locals lived, and even one night staying out until 2am. We had failed to do this the first trip, where we found ourselves one evening sitting in a nightclub parking lot near midnight waiting for it to open (yes, open), and looking over at eachother,  in a moment of synchronized thinking, we started the car and headed back to the hotel. Are you old or just wise when you realize nothing is more important than a good nights sleep?

Ibiza, an island that I drew conclusions on based on top 20 music and DJ groupies has now become one of our favorite places. As I popped my decongestant pill on the plane, I caught site of a fashionable trio looking over at me and I felt the need to explain. Nothing exciting over here folks just a middle-aged flyer with ear problems.

Finding ourselves with an unexpected four day weekend recently, we did a quick inventory of destinations and decided to head down south to a little beach town in Northern Spain called San Sebastián. We had only heard wonderful things of the Basque Country. Once train tickets and hotel were booked I didn’t think too much about it in the weeks before. As it got closer I checked the weather and upon seeing the lineup of sunny days and warm temps (which I have become unaccustomed to since leaving Santa Barbara) I couldn’t help but do a fist pump and pride myself on my excellent vacation planning skills. The short trip combined with perfect weather gave me no stress in preparing, and I began to pack the night before our early train departure. With all the practice I’m getting I am proud to say I have finally become a good packer, and I am getting close to that seemingly unattainable level of bringing only what’s needed. As one very wise woman once said “when preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money”. Throwing in swimsuits and shorts and one sundress for good measure,  I was finished in under ten minutes. I laid out the clothes for the morning and luckily (you will see why soon) included jackets to wear on the train due to the chilly morning weather.

We had a pleasant and uneventful train ride. As we started drawing nearer and began  passing the beach towns of Biarritz and St. Jean de Luz, I noticed that the weather was foggy and drizzly. Checking my weather app I assured myself that it still looked sunny and beautiful in San Sebastián. In hindsight, I was a bit slow when the walk from the train station and the umbrellas being carried by passer-bys didn’t alarm me. We were focused on finding our hotel and getting settled and we were all starving. While checking in, Iyla asked the front desk person if the water was warm at the beach. Between the look on his face and the gust of wind blowing in from the front door every time it opened, I started having a creeping feeling, and before I could say it Tommy said, “I’m thinking we might have been looking at the weather in a different San Sebastián”. And there you have it folks. While somewhere in the world (I guess Puerto Rico, although turns out there is also another San Sebastián in Spain) people were basking in the warm sun rays, we had in store a weekend of considerable rain, combined with wind and a wind chill, that made it a good 15 degrees colder than Paris. Since I hate frivolous buying (and I’m cheap) I didn’t let anyone purchase rain jackets, but thank god we had the sweatshirts and jackets we had worn on the train. On the plus side we all wore the same outfit the entire weekend so laundry was at a minimal on our return.

So we changed the course of our weekend. We still walked a lot but toned it down. We made lots of stops. This worked well in this charming Basque town which is famous for its pintxos bars and is very conducive to popping in and out of places for a drink and some pintxos snacks. We played a lot of cards and games in these different cafés. I have said it before but I so love this about Europe, that is being able to hang out as long as you want and have noone question you or make you feel unwelcome. We ate a lot. And we ended with movie nights at the hotel. The adventures of traveling. You go with the flow and since it is becoming an impossibility these days to predict weather anywhere (and minus an idiot move like mine) you really need to be prepared for the unexpected. Not so much physically but mentally.

Speaking of the physical and mental, it is interesting to think of different vacations and what they target. I think ideally, we might all agree it would be great for a vacation to stimulate both the physical and mental side. For most of us this would mean putting both the body and mind at rest. Of course if you consider the large scope and general nature of traveling you will realize that travels often can tax the mind and body as well. We recently got back from Marrakech, Morocco where we went for our fall break. This time I actually got to do a legitimate fist pump as we had a near perfect week of weather (sandwiched between rainy gloomy days before and after). We spent hours at the pool swimming and lazying and playing, which was relaxing for both mind, body and spirit, particularly coming from busy city life. On the flip side we ventured every day into the old city (they call the Medina) which I adored. However, between the constant threat of getting run over by a moped, stepping in animal excrement, dirt, dust, poor living conditions, topped by pollution from cars and breathing in fumes in the narrow market streets all of our minds and bodies were spent on our first visit. Here is a trip I thought I was prepared for and nothing I had read could’ve prepared me for what I saw and felt being there. The initial discomfort was quickly replaced by intrigue. Tommy and I agreed that sans kids and maybe as young backpackers, we would have spent more time exploring the Medina. The kind locals with gentle eyes and the sweetness they showed the children, the backbreaking work done by laborers way past retirement age, the rawness, the lack of pretense, the unabashed honesty, marked by the beautiful hymn of Islamic prayers throughout the day both awakened a part in me and stirred emotions. In the end I loved it all. And the stress of being placed out of our comfort zones, for lack of a better phrase, left a lasting and I believe positive impact on all of us.

We often get asked, what has been our favorite place. I think naturally when we think of the answer we generally form our response to the place we may have resonated the most with, be it people, climate, food. The reality is there are no favorites. It is not the point of travel to feel comfortable all the time or have everything just the way you are used to. If it was, then why leave your home? Of course this is nothing revolutionary on my part but I have realized the value of seeing such different land, culture, people, customs, food and beliefs. I’ve loved all of them and would feel so grateful to experience each and every one again if I happen to be so lucky. Marcel Proust once wrote “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.” So I give my gratitude to all these countries for opening our eyes and forcing us to see this beautiful crazy world and all its unique people.